Finally today I realise that I have a lot of "weaknesses" in me which is already reaching the "severe" alarm.

 

Let me further explain myself here. The story begins when I met this so called "very imporant and dedicated" bank staff who is holding a key position in a so call "Security Unit" department. I had heard of her "powerful" influence that almost everyone who deals with her is scare of her tremendously. Her words are veto and what she wants is what you need to fulfil.

 

First incident:
We started out the project with very minimum requirements from the bank(which I always regret why is this happened). However, we did our best to "imagine" and be constructive on the development. When the development reached user acceptance test, this "important and dedicated" bank staff starts questioning the vendor, why this not done? why this not being implemented & etc. Being an honest person, I politely informed her that, there is no such requirements given to implement any of the "things" that she questioning me about. Guess what.......my nightmare begins.......... She pointed at me and starts lecturing me telling how important are those requirements to the bank and need to comply to Central Bank guidelines. In my boiling heart, I was thinking, if those requirements are so important to the bank and must be enforced to comply with Central Bank guidelines, why no one from the bank ever communicate to us when we first started the project? If she is so "dedicated" as she appears, why she never make sure her staff communicate these requirements to vendor?

 

 

 

Second incident:
After some mental and emotional struggling on the first incident, my second nightmare reached the doorstep. I was told to document all those important requirements for her to verify against her so called Central Bank guidelines. I was in traumatic shock when I heard of such request, because under normal logical circumstances, such important requirements that deal with Central Bank guidelines must come from the Bank and not the vendor. Why is this happen the other way round which is same as why the sun suddenly rise in the West and set in the East today? Again I politely tell her why I shouldn't produce such document, she gave me second lecture and telling me that is my duty and not the bank. I consulted my boss, and we decide not to confront with her, we started to prepare the document with full commitment under very high body temperature.

 

 

Third incident:
After I submitted the document, I had my worst nightmare in my life. The document was rejected with the comments : flows and details are not correct, terms used are too technical and she cannot understand, English grammer is lousy and etc. In shorts, nothing is correct with the document and everything is wrong. Numerous changes had been made on the document to satisfy her "standard". Hours and days had been spent on it, until one day, the document is finally reaching to the signoff stage. I felt so relief that finally i can get out from this nightmare. In the process of amending the document, I am grateful to another bank staff who had given me many guidence and advices. I truely appreciate his help. 

 

Finally, the document was submitted last 2 months and I thought it had been signoff. However, I received a bad news today during my meeting with the bank saying that the document is still not yet signoff beacuse she told everyone that the document is still full of grammer mistakes and she is 'not my English teacher'.  I am speechless and had second traumatic shock.

 

What I dislike is, she likes to say "I am not your English teacher" when reading my document. In fact, I hate to hear this arrogant statement. Come on..........if she cannot even produce the "important" requirements document herself and never make sure her staff communicate those requirements to the vendor, what is her English communication skills rating? If her English is so good and English is so important in delivering the information to the readers, why not she provide us the document which should be the correct procedure?

 

I admit that my English still needs a lot of improvement. However, I think all the time repeating and telling everyone the statement "I am not your English teacher" is very sacarstic and is not the professional way of acting by a so called "dedicated" bank staff. Most important, the statement hurts, it really hurts..........

 

 

Another weekend coming, I plan to mourn and "face the wall" to review my weaknesses. I hope I can be a better person and my English does improve greatly when 1st November 2006 comes...............

Isaac Asimov ---- "The Three Laws of Robotics"

 

First Law : No robot may harm a human being or through inaction allow a human being to come to harm

Second Law : A robot must obey the orders given it by human beings except where such orders conflict with he First Law.

Third Law : A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.

 

It seems that a robot's life is not as easy as we think it is.  Human needs robots to be intelligent enough to carry out dangerous, tedious and repeative jobs with the fears of robots become too intelligent that out of human control.

 

On second thought: is it human nature to be greedy and selfish at the same time? or is it human nature to feel insecure when something more intelligent exists? can rules and regulations really help humans to reduce their insecure feeling and fullfill their greediness by hidding selfishness?

 

Think deeply human must...........

 

 

记住该记住的，忘记该忘记的。改变能改变的，接受不能接受的。

 

Remember what should be remembered

Forget what should be forgot

Change what can be changed

Accept what is not acceptable

 

Very simple phrase but trust me......it is not easy to implement.

 

Years ago when I worked as a bank teller, the incidents that always happened was inappropriate arangement by the assistant manager to allocate sufficient tellers at work during lunch time. That really boiled my temperature to the maximum bacause when there was insufficient tellers during lunch time which is a peak hour and I was always the customer "target" (ie: customer scolded me because they waited too long and 2 times customer throw they passbooks on my face....sigh) just because I was always the one working during lunch hour.

 

My reaction when scolded by customer was to "divert" my anger to the officers in charge during that hour. I will showed my "angry' face to the officers working that time and become very unfriendly with them and at the same time forced myself to smile in front of the customer. However, despite of my angry emotion within me, I still served my customer with full commitment and courtesy and always made my customer felt "right" when they were in the bank and this made the mangement took me for granted.  Almost every lunch time, I will feel very unfair and angry, I voiced out my concern to the management but nothing was done and my anger continue days after days.

 

Until one day, suddenly I realised that, why must I suffered myself with things that I unable to change? why must I "spoil" my health with unnecessary anger? When I started to "accept what is not acceptable", my mind is free and no more anger within me. The point is, I cannot change the management decision although I tried, but I can choose to adapt to the situation provided it doesn't violate my principles. I learnt to become more flexible in handling my emotion. Believe me or not, when you know when not to get angry and be liberal, you will become happier and healthier because you will not be bothered by small stuffs.